away with the comb, it's useless now!

Whaha! I have finally cut my hair, after months and months of saying that I wanted to do so.

Rather happy with the new look, it really have been years since I have this short a hairstyle. I think since secondary 2 when I started growing out my hair. Since 2000, so it has been 8 years. I mean the shortest it has been was a haircut gone wrong in Year 2 of Poly. And more of it was still brushing lightly against my shoulders.

It was an rather discerning shower I had. Too much shampoo was used, foam all over my head, guess I was too used to using the amount used to wash my mop of hair. Not any more! Hahahaha, the money my family can save on shampoo. Since my younger sister switched to a short do as well just a couple days back. No one can say my hair is tickling them anymore. LOL

And the coom meet the back of my neck much much faster than I thought. LOL Hahahaha, Bijinn no Yume, 美人の夢, 美人的梦。

On to my next goad! LOSE WEIGHT! I seriously need to get my weight back under 50KG. Damn illogical to only expand sideways when I am no longer growing upwards.

the truth hits home once again...

I am fat.

I'm turning too fat for my unhealthy lifestyle.

Finally got one sewing kit that I have intended to buy since more than 6 months back. Finally sewn the button back onto one of these few shorts that do not showcase my flabby thighs to the whole wide world.

Tried on the pants again for the first time since the button fell off. Maybe just a bit longer than six months since. My god. This shorts used to hang so loosely on me that I can pull them straight off. I would need to wear a belt with it so that I do not risk exposing myself if I need to break into a run out of a sudden. Now, it's sitting comfortably on my rounded tummy.

The truth hurts so much. I'm feeling kind of masochistic at the moment. Wondering should I shock myself further by pulling out all my working pants that I have not worn since the move to Comtech. "Oh, your pants is so nice, only it's a bit loose. Seems like they would fall off any moment."

Not any longer. Should I gratify my own masochism? Better not, I think the shock would be far too great to handle if they are tight now. Sits comfortably - OK, I am damn fat. I should diet. Tight, fats popping up from above the waistband - OK, this is when I should just open my window and jumps out of it.

Quite truthfully, I think I am gaining weight at a alarming rate. When I measured one week back, I am 53.4KG. Measured again just a while back, it has increase to 54.4KG. What have I eaten in the past week!? Going to stop my breakfast habit, I think. Should be easier next week when I start working afternoon then midnight shift. Can sleep my way through.

Plan of Action
Plan A: Cut down on food intake.
Plan B: Eat pills to control cravings
Plan C: Develop an eating disorder. Still trying to decide on anorexia or bulimia.

If all else fails, I will just kill myself and stop taking up unnecessary space on earth.

i want to cut my hair....

Hai....been saying I wanted to cut my hair since forever back. Went around asking people for their opinions. Showed photos of the style I wanted, most just say that it's too short, only Michelle commented that my face may be too broad for it. Saying that both of us have broad faces, and the long length would actually helps to narrow it down... Been thinking of that as well, one of the reason why I put this off for quite this long. The length has not gotten any shorter above my shoulders since entry into Poly.

My greatest fear!! Hahahahha

Showed her the photos and JY's photo in facebook, seeing the hairstyle is similar to JY's hair. "Girl, you must know that that guy and your friend's faces are quite narrow." Hai hai, why do i have a square jaw. LOL

Hahahaha, I am blessed with photogenic friends. "Wah...so pretty. Who's this?" JY, Angela, YX, Yenching, Jo....Just to name a few. Blessed or cursed? Since not working on the continuation of my Perth Post....LOL.

The horror, the shock, the dispair I feel!!!

My weight is now a whopping 53.8KG! Fifty-three point eight kilograms! Oh my god.... It was likely just slightly longer than a year that I first announce/sent out my first wail of alarm about my starting digit is no longer a 4 but a 5! It's just a downwards spiral from then on.

There's just so many scenarios today that where I am unable to hide from the fact that I have horrible weight gain. Firstly, there was that time when I finished showering and was changing into my clothes, my stomach looks so bloated-up in the mirror that I look like I am pregnant. 打击 第一!Then I pulled on my top, I can still see the full roundness of my stomach. Normally, even on the days when I have a really heavy meal, they would be covered/nicely conceal by my clothes. However today! 打击 第二! Oh god...this better just the sign that my period is coming soon.

Secondly, on my walk to the train station, I can physically feel my inner tighs rubbing against each other with each step I take forward.打击 第三! This is really not good. Maybe I should start running. Where do I run? How long should I run? I hate running.

Lastly, I came home, went to my sister's room to talk to her about the pricing of luggage. The first thing that came out of her mouth when she saw me ... "You look fat!!" 冲击!! 打击 第四! I cannot stand it anymore, pulled out her weighing scale... 最后 的打击! The numbers blinking at me. Oh my god. And I was just been damn pleased with myself that my weight is back down under 48KG during the BA interview and during our visit back to SMSS.

I am so going on a diet when I return from Australia. Because it's damn sad to starve yourself on a holiday. And tomorrow is free cone day. Not eating breakfast anymore. If I work morning shift, whatever noodles I buy would be eaten during lunch. No matter how nice it would be to eat piping hot noodles. No more dinner. It's just lunch. One meal a day. My god. 53.8KG.

Once I found out, I went online and asked Angela for her weight. Damn mean, but. I have always been that bit lighter than her. I am still lighter than her. She was all LOL at me on MSN, trying to comfort by saying that she is still heavier than me at 55-56. Still = currently = may not be so in the future! My god. The difference is only TWO KILOGRAMS now. It used to be at least five... Out of Angela,JY, YX and I, was the lightest. 45-48KG. Those good days are gone. I must diet! Damn sad and full of hate for myself for not being able to eat veggie, if not I would like to give Eve's rabbit diet a try... I must bring my weight back down to 48. At most 49 and maintaining it there!

Still have not gotten our luggage yet. How are we going to pack and leave on Wednesday. Guess we will also need to plan out who is bring what communal items. Shower items etc.